Friday, June 21, 2013

SORRY TO HAVE LEFT YOU






It’s been quite a long time that I had updated my blog. I could say, it’s been almost over half a year that I haven’t updated my blog. Well, there were various reasons why I didn't update my blog. I missed my blog, but I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t write another post. I couldn’t take on another client. I felt dead in the water. It felt like I was losing my mind. My mind was in a fog, like I was wandering around lost in the wilderness. Bewildered. Stressed. One of my goals in life is to live as stress free as possible and I was failing. The stress was getting to me. I was becoming hard to live with. Hell I didn’t even want to live with me. I couldn’t sleep, my head hurt, my patience was short. I was feeling completely overwhelmed and  bordering depression. Oh the long nights of getting no sleep, listening to music, study, schools the next day. When the next day arrived, I didn’t want to get out of bed. What a horrible way to live. I felt like screaming.

I wonder how far this new relationship I build can survive. Its been so rocky, unstable and many fights. Heartache is my constant companion lately, I just don't know what's going on in my mind and what I want.When my old relationship came crashing down I immediately ran into a new one, just because I felt safe and happiness again. I think it was my mistake I should have let myself heal or cleared my mind before making a decision. Everything happened so fast and now when I look back seems like everything I am doing lately is so wrong.

So many things keep bothering me, makes me feel like I am nothing but a rug where I constantly let people step and bring me down. I just don't have the strength to fight or argue anymore, I just wanna be free and feel free. Just something I realize lately even thou you are happy there are some unhappiness that can destroy that unless you fully let if off you chest. I just need to let all of this off my chest. I really hope it can happen soon as I really can't take it anymore.

Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

Currently i'm busy with my exams stuff.
Anyways, wish myself good luck for my coming exams smile


















1 comment:

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